In this Issue
Relatable Rich People: William Fence on Enjoying Life
Parenting Advice: Nemo’s Dad
On the Couch with Dr. Phil
We Need to Talk About... Scribbly Chews the Fat
Reviewan McGregor Watches 'Argylle'
Cartoonist News, Bits 'n' Bobs
Relatable Rich People
I was jet-skiing around my private island the other day when I received a notification of an upcoming article featuring me. So, I did what I normally do and purchased the publication. The article wasn’t negative—there's not a bad word anyone could ever say about me. I simply decided to buy a South African cartoonist’s newsletter and encouraged him to remove the piece.
Both Scribbly and his kneecaps agreed that it was better for everyone if that article never saw the light of day.
But why am I telling you this? Well, I was in my helicopter, reading the preview for this newsletter, when I noticed a section called 'Relatable Rich People'. I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to show you all how us rich people are just like you. We get picked on and bullied, and have the occasional article written about us. Sometimes, things don’t go our way. And it sucks. But you have to learn not to let things get you down.
For example, if your kid is being bullied at school, don’t just sit around and cry about it. You need to get out there and do something. Find out who the bully's parents are and where they work, then buy the companies they work for so you can fire them. Let’s see if Reginald continues to bully your kid when Mommy and Daddy don’t have jobs anymore.
You know, sometimes while I’m flying on my private jet to Switzerland for our weekly lunch meeting about global warming, I sit and wonder: Why do people complain so much about everything? Why would anyone choose to talk about gas prices instead of sailing on their yacht? Why are people standing on street corners holding those silly cardboard signs when they could be taking a quick trip into space? It has always baffled me what people choose to spend their time on. You need to get out there and do something. It’s not that hard.
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